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Beat Your Genes Podcast & More

Living Wisdom Library Q&A
2020-06-14
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that's sad love working on our website I think looks great yeah yeah we got a great logo we got the Great and the book look it all we're like yeah we'll stop we'll stop gossiping about everybody now all right so I think we are live um yeah I'm pretty sure we're lit I'm pretty sure we're live this is so funny I've watched so many live videos of people who've never done it before and there's always like this are we live are we is it actually is it happening can somebody in the text box let us know if we're live or not unable to connect to chat okay well that's that's gonna be a problem all right well we will hope that that will renew itself one moment please slight technical difficulties so for those of you who are watching it's not telling me who is watching um but I can't see the chat box from the actual Stream So I am bringing up the video in a different window so we can see what you guys are saying if you're saying anything um so thank you for joining us so we can see okay yeah have to mute this uh-huh okay we got Cheryl and sunshine and David and Jan we got all kinds of folks joining us here so I can't watch the chat and us at the same time unfortunately okay so let's figure this out getting it guys okay I think we're good I think we're good so uh Welcome to our first technologically challenged live q a for the new membership website we are so excited to have you guys here we've had uh quite a few people sign up in the past couple of days it's pretty exciting so we've been like I have told some of you in the email and Elsewhere on social media we've been we've been cooking this up for a long time and this has been a long time being birthed into the world and so uh we've got we've still got a few little glitches to work out um but it's so exciting to be finally be finally doing this um and we always wanted a live q a for members to be a big part of the benefits so so here we are cool so I um had asked for some questions from folks uh oh we got Nathan gershfelt in the house and we've got nutritionfacts.org has joined us as well to police our nutritional content um and uh some other good friends here so this is great so um some of you sent some questions questions in ahead of time I got some emails about it so we're going to answer those questions uh because they they came in early I think they're pretty straightforward so we're going to tackle those and then we'll see what comes up in the in the chat as well so all right and then my doggies are barking in the background just to keep things really interesting okay so first question is I'm a high and openness introvert which I find to be a weird combination I same same problem here um I also have quite a hard time finding people from my Coalition with similar interests and values in the Autumn I am planning to move to a different country to start my studies do you have any advice for meeting new people in a new environment for someone like me whose personality is quite distorted it would also be cool if you elaborated on how you're making the effort to find friends so something that you were talking about in the last podcast so we actually we had a very similar Quest this week um which uh you know the the sort of very quick answer to that is um we have we have Reverb happening um the very quick answer is that it's a numbers game so if you have a if you have a strange personality if you have distorted personality characteristics that just means that you have to expose yourself to more potential members of your Coalition so we we elaborate on the on the podcast this week so folks can listen to that but I think what she's asking here it strikes me as sort of a more um nuts and bolts like how do you actually go about meeting people as an open introvert um so maybe we could we could say something else about that you want to jump in um I think you introverts can can really make huge use out of repeat exposure effect uh people by Nature are are essentially a little standoffish with new people and introverts are not going to be signaling a lot of uh obvious warmth and Etc so they can actually take your introversion as being slightly rejecting and so as a result it takes takes people a little while to to trust that introverts are actually interested uh and so and you're not probably not going to change your signaling that well by Nature because your the natural anxiety and natural aloofness that come with introversion or is probably something you're not going to be able to modify but what what is important to know is if you look at your histories you're going to see that uh as with most people but particularly with introverts uh chance has played an enormous role in terms of meeting people in repeat exposure situations that then then developed and grew into relationships and so usually I mean people like each uh like each other like another person an awful lot better after half a dozen exposures than they do after one or two exposures now extroverts don't have that problem as much so they can they can bump into somebody start a conversation in 20 minutes later they're best friends at the bar uh introverts this is not going to happen so we need situations where we already know that there's people uh that there's a reason why people are meeting routinely incidentally I I don't recommend that people try to join groups that meet once a month typically um just because once a month uh it's taking too long the repeat exposure affected taking an awful long time your whole life's gone by the time you've gotten anything generated you want something like um in Sonoma County a place that I sent a lot of people was uh Sierra Club because they would go on weekly hikes up here in the hills and so as a result pretty quickly the repeat exposure effect starts working and within a couple of months they've got a couple people that they know and like and that they're looking forward to seeing at the next hike so weekly type things same group that meets over and over again uh repeat exposure effect is is your the best tool that you have yeah I have a very similar personality highly open not not I wouldn't call myself introverted but I'm not super extroverted and that's exactly what it is and you have the kind of um uh Snowball Effect where you connect with one person in a group like that and then you can kind of reload on their friendship Coalition because the kind of people that you would want to connect with are probably already connected to them um so you can you can use somebody to expand your Social Circle that way that you so that you're you're essentially not looking at that social event as a closed set of people to connect to but as entry points to other friendship coalitions that you can hijack yeah which has been an effective strategy for me in the past good strategy for me it's just not having any problems don't worry about it he says this it's a good line I happen to know that it's not true um okay so so yeah hope hope that is helpful for some just general techniques but it is going back to the what we said on the podcast it's like really um it's a it's chance is playing a large role because you can you can try to game it completely and look at a group that's meeting on campus that would seem to be very aligned with your interests and have a lot of people that you would think and I've I've had jobs like this where I've gone to start a new job thinking no I'm going to have a built-in friendship Coalition because I'm going to have so much overlap with values and interest and everything else and it's just the the magic is not there for the Friendship Coalition so you can't force it and expect it to happen you just um expose yourself to as many potential groups and people and friends of friends and uh just hope that you get lucky and and can expand it from there so all right and people can listen to last week's podcast if they want elaboration on that so the next question that was submitted um is a little specific but I think um this this kind of General situation applies to a lot of people so what kind of Dynamics play at work most specifically with uh mostly females working together I have one co-worker who my boss has kind of put in as the lead even though this position does not actually exist nor is it supported by our Union this lead gets all the new info first from the boss assigns us the cases um and has been really controlling because it allows allows her to control who's getting my cases and she also gets special jobs that the other people didn't get she has been in the department the longest but she's younger than me and she's a little disagreeable and very controlling what's the best way to handle this ah the disagreeable personality question I I mean we should go ahead yeah my my general take on this is that you you know if you're if you're here and you're subscribed to the website that means that you've heard us talk a lot about personality and um this is really just a question of uh choosing your environment and picking your personal Utopia and um it with when it's a work situation like this and somebody that you really can't get away from instead of choosing your you can't really limit your exposure necessarily but you can beat your genes in the sense that you have to choose your battles you have to be um you have to be mindful of your own personality Distortion uh in this case probably a fair amount of conscientiousness that's outraged about the unfairness of it um because it is unfair because you're dealing with a disagreeable pushy controlling person who has been unfairly rewarded for being disagreeable and pushing and controlling um and that's pinging all the little the little fairness circuits and the conscientious brain but all that's doing is causing you to stressing you out and so I you know I had a meditation teacher years ago and I've heard this elsewhere that was would you rather be right or happy like you've gotta you gotta um get to the point where you can live with the fact that this person represents a really unfair allotment of extra power that she doesn't deserve to have and is difficult to deal with but limit your interaction in ways that preserve your own bubble and protect your own experience at work as much as possible it's kind of how I would address that I've certainly I've had that exact situation in work at work before and it often is among women and there's kind of like a Mean Girls queen bee situation um and my own conscientiousness has gotten me into you know you want to go to the higher ups and complain about the the Injustice of it all um and all the ways in which you're being submarined by these people that it's just all it's it's it's the the old you're drinking poison waiting for the other person to die that's that's essentially what you're up to in that case so it's this is a mindfulness practice of just choosing your battles and letting it go as much as possible and realizing there are a lot of disagreeable [ __ ] in the world yeah and I might have a more technical answer yeah I would also I in general I call this uh 110 problem and that is that that um remember the reason why that person is is conscientious and pushy and got to that position in the first place is because they they're living a life of feeling esteemed deficiency so they're they're chronically esteemed efficient that's what that's what causes you know some people to run for president for example okay the uh this is what it's a hypothetical but I mean that's of course what would cause such a thing to happen and so your uh so that individual uh is feeling essentially it's like there's somebody on a diet and they're chronically hungry they're always just a little bit edgy and a little bit pushy and a little bit upset and so what we want to do is that we want to give them esteem whenever we can we don't go around trying to Pollyanna because they'll see through that but whenever they do something that is phrase Worthy when our genes are basically saying discount it talk behind their back essentially undermine them because that's what your genes want to do because that's what you would do in a stone age environment with a closed system and you have to live with these people you couldn't afford to let somebody who is in annoyance and essentially an enemy in the coalition to get to get ahead but they're not in your Coalition and they're not actually invading your space that much in this life they're just a A co-worker with a with with the steam deficiency and they're going to Lord it over you and look for perks or whatever what we want to do instead is we want to give them a hundred percent 110 percent of the positive feedback that they deserve in other words we lay it on a little thick and the smart move is to do it publicly and unpredictably okay in other words it's not a constant steady stream it's once in a while you land it's like wow that was really good drinking or wow I wouldn't have thought of that that's how we we do that and they hear that and they they now recognize you as an interesting and you know if not necessarily a competitor that they might have thought you were maybe even an ally okay now you wind up in a better position so even though your jeans don't want you to do it 110 uh positive feedback intermittently uh is a way to basically get this person uh to be as little of a problem as possible yeah it's really hard to do yeah really not going to come naturally this is one of these deals where though that this is very much like uh I was trying to think of an example uh you really don't want to do something but it's so worth it yeah you know it's just like well it's very similar like there's uh there's times when if uh some disagreeable human you know contradicts me oh do I S I so want to take the accent of course I want to take the action okay but it's you know and half the time I take the ax out and then I pay he does next five days he does it's like I shouldn't have taken the accent it's it's like very stressful because that's the flip side of the conscientiousness the conscientiousness over here is outraged that the Injustice that this person you know being being such a pain in the ass yeah um but then the flip side of the conscientiousness is that it's it's running that whole scenario over and over and over again going could I have done a better job with that you know was I acting in a in a too too reactive way and it could have been managed better um so and I think people who wind up in this situation are often kind of looping around if they've been really active in a situation like that before so yeah but yeah it's hard as hell to give status to someone who doesn't deserve it if you're conscientious and it's like even if you're agreeable like I have I have certain relationships where I know it just greases the wheels tremendously to to give a little status and when you're dealing with somebody really disagreeable it doesn't matter how cheesy it is like it doesn't matter how fake it sounds to you they're just like well thank you yeah thank you I did deserve that like that that is that thank you for correctly assessing my superiority in this situation like they have no [ __ ] detector at all um and so but it's it's really hard you feel like you shouldn't be giving that ground they don't deserve it that you can um that's the kind of thing you can also rehearse you know you can rehearse with somebody who you're close to if you if you know you're dealing with a real pain in the ass and you're going to see them at the staff next staff meeting you can rehearse a few ways that you can give them a little bit of status and then it's like it's a little more you've you've created a little Groove for it so you're not counting on yourself to um ad-lib in the moment which can be be really helpful for agreeing with people yeah yeah but yeah so it's it's a beautiful return on investment in other words uh there's no there's no cheaper currency in the world than status and yet there's no currency that's as important more valuable and so therefore if you if you get that in your head that boy throw on them a little status is a huge uh possible payoff for you it's worth keeping in mind and at least tempting yourself now man yeah yeah if you can but if you can't it's fine just can't eat your lunch in the corner and ignore it all right all right so let's see what else we've got so we had a couple of pleasure trappy kind of questions so this person asks um can you address intuitive eating and how that relates to the pleasure trap can you is it possible to moderate highly palatable Foods um also how can you let go of calorie counting okay oh we've got Jimmy the guitar player in the chat no oh no we're in trouble we shut it down uh yeah into I mean this is a very specific question there is no general question for this I'll just sure other stuff there just I'll just mansplain first so um so some people can eat moderately of Highly palatable pleasure trap foods and it's less of a problem so we all know Freaks Like This Doug is one of them so Doug and I are not gonna have the same response to a super highly palatable thing um just because he's registering the society a little quicker he's just a little less interested in it than my genetic tendency would be I talked to a lot of women who have husbands who are in this position it seems to be like a like a skinny husband problem um and but yeah among among everybody this is just another kind of bell curve it's sort of how sensitive your Society is in specific ways the the dopamine signaling sensitivity there are all kinds of different things going on and it's not going to be consistent from specific trigger foods across the board so some things maybe are highly palatable that you can you can successfully eat in moderation intuitively um and other things or not so I'm very much in that position where it's like some things yeah they are technically highly super normal highly palatable um and they would be a big problem for other people but for me they're not so like sweets and cookies and donuts and things not my drug of choice and I can I can partake moderately of those things um and it doesn't send me into the pleasure trap the same way that a like a more crunchy Savory highly palatable thing might um so you have to this is about learning what your real no-go triggers are through the process of the experience of figuring out where where it's problematic and you can only run into that through practice and through relapse and through screwing up and teaching yourself that this is what it looks like for you um you know we can't give some prescription across the board for whether intuitive eating works or not because it does for some people and it doesn't for others some people really their relationship to supernormal food is like my relationship to alcohol it's it's a little bit of almost anything super normal even something that's you know a flower product is too much and for other people you've got to go way up that kind of supernormal process curve before you start running into that problem um so that's that's generally how I would look at that yeah just in general I mean you've said it all but intuitive eating when you look at it on a scientific experimental basis it's lousy outcomes uh and that's just what we would have expected the pleasure trap is a is a vastly underestimated force and uh the intuitive eating people what we find is that they're happier with themselves because they've effectively been given permission by The Village to be sort of reasonably self-indulgent okay is kind of what it is and so they're they're feeling less self-critical so they actually they they benefit in that way on average uh so but in terms of actually any real progress that they're actually trying to do uh weight loss for example or improve health outcomes than the answers on average now so uh yeah I think I think we said that all yeah that's all good the follow-up about calorie counting um how do you let go of calorie counting and that's that's also just um you know I think for a lot of women who just grew up steeped in that you almost never do there's a little script in your head that's like running the running the numbers all the time so I think it's unrealistic to imagine that you're ever going to completely let go of it if you've been a lifelong calorie counter um but you can build your your trust of a whole natural plant-based diet um by just watching the the process you know like trying Letting Go letting go of calorie counting in the sense that you're not explicitly tracking it you're not plugging it into your spreadsheet or your little app uh for some amount of time and just okay we'll see what happens at the end of this month I'll give it 30 days of not actually literally writing down the number all the time even though it's going to be going on in your head um of just eating about abundantly to satiety of the foods that you know that you that are that are green light Foods um and we have plenty of videos on this and and others for people who are unfamiliar uh with what we've said about the pleasure trap so we can we can direct you there you can explore it on our website or there are plenty of other places you can go um for that information but uh it's a self-trust process it's just realizing that okay I went 30 days without being a calorie counting maniac and I still lost two pounds so I you know something about this is working which is a whole other topic that is not it's implied by this question but I think there's so many people who have completely the wrong idea about how fast this process should be most women it's you're not looking at two or three pounds a week no matter who you're hearing that from this is like a one pound a week kind of situation maybe half a pound as you get closer to your goal maybe less so it's it's slow steady just eat the healthy food don't worry about the calories let your body modulate and regulate the calories as to go and it will take care of itself it just might take a really long time sure yeah all good yeah right what else we got yeah other we have a quick quick chat which I think we can dispatch quickly is a highly disagreeable person better off staying silent when they have disagreeable thoughts about people around them rather than saying anything at all depends on who they are and who and who they're dealing with sure is yeah are you having a disagreeable thought about another disagreeable person um in that case probably best not to say anything because you're just looking for uh an altercation um and it's yeah how productive is the disagreeable thought like but if they're powerless and blow you and foreign I mean there are obviously a disagreeable person who notices that there's something you know mechanically wrong with the space shuttle before it takes off should probably speak up and say something there are moments that reward disagreeable people being like hey that's [ __ ] up you gotta do something about that like that's what disagreeable is useful for um it's saying oh you know that shirt looks stupid on you that is not a productive comment to make no matter who you're dealing with and the more disagreeable your audience is the more it's gonna kind of probably blow up in your face so it's I know it sounds like a cop-out to say it depends on the context but it does depend on the context in general disagreeable people should should should be should be getting in the habit of of putting all of the things that they want to say through that sort of is it true is it helpful maybe not is it kind but like does it really improve the situation to say this um and having that awareness that they're likely to to Veer towards shitty more than than not and to have it taken badly um but if it's worthwhile it's worthwhile yeah I have a sort of a simple simple yeah I have a simple little uh as someone much more disagreeable than I am and the simple thing is if it's such a good idea it'll be a good idea later yeah in other words if they deserve the negative feedback right it's okay they're gonna have an opportunity don't hit send yes please that's it that's actually a sleep on sin is a really good thing did you just make that up I just made that up do I get credit for it two months from now I will be able to have my idea we just did another interview or I said something and he's like I think that's my phrase no it's not it's not your phrase you stole it from me and then you accused me of stealing it from you this is like a real smash the patriarchy situation yeah that's right um but yeah totally like don't and this is for people with any kind of emotional instability too if you're if you know that you're sort of an unstable person getting getting in that habit of yeah okay I really want to react to this in a particular way and I feel really keyed up and all of my my circuits are saying I need to act on this immediately or I'm putting myself at risk and I'm damaging my genetic survival it's not true have a little filter on the fact that you're a super distorted human and give yourself you know 12 hours to to think about it because the reality of the situation is unlikely to change in that amount of time and yeah if you're disagreeable and unstable all the more important see there's people that I've plotted their deaths yeah testosterone he's got a list yeah well but she just plotted them yeah that's right that's good just keep it keep it that way all right we had another sort of uh pleasure chat question so I have trouble eliminating one food that I know isn't great for me but I can't seem to let it go it's protein powder I have a magical belief that I need it what should I do oh that got that got nutritionfacts.org all agitated in the comments protein powder with i i rolling Emoji so uh protein powder I don't know I don't know yeah what do I think about protein protein powder I don't know I just have this feeling it's a bad idea but I don't really know much about it do you know anybody that would actually know yeah we might we might we might know somebody well you got some friends I got I got I might I might have a friend [Applause] protein powder Oculus yeah the recommended daily allowance for protein the average American uh about 50 grams uh 46 grams for women uh about uh 54 grams for men we should actually try to hit um the the Institute of medicine recommendation 0.8 grams for healthy kilogram body weight um and should not exceed it um as it increases once insulin resistance you can take water and protein powder drink it down within hours significant increase in insulin resistance which is a risk factor for pre-diabetes for type 2 diabetes um we want to moderate our protein intake and we should go for um and so we should shoot for the ideal protein um and I have old chapter about this in my I was going to say latest book but two books how not to diet um check it out uh it's in the branched chain amino acid section there you go and I'm sure there's also possibly a video on this topic there's lots of videos on everything yeah and nutrition facts Mission facts.org well in case you have any other nutrition questions that's incredibly helpful well thank you Dr Michael Greger anytime I'm here to help at all times when anything nutrition comes up hello the numbers on my q a had had a special special guest this week all right any more nutrition questions we have we have others here uh and we were that was all the questions we had asked beforehand so uh let's check the chat really quick uh I don't know if we have somebody's saying did you put we look like we're bathed in am gold because we put Vaseline on the lens that's just my shitty laptop um also the fact that we were out in the sunshine I think is giving us that 70s Vibe um yeah not intentional all right well unless there are any other pressing questions it's been about half an hour um so we'll we'll shut it down I'll give it I'll give it one more second if anybody wants to jump in nobody's nobody's doing it all right all right well thank you guys for participating this week it was it was lovely and with our special guest thank you Captain broccoli um and we will see you we don't have a schedule for these but um I will email them out with a with the link and they will always be posted in the members section of the website under the Q and A's um there's also a new section uh on the main page of the website just called what's new so you guys can keep an eye on that it's in the footer on the front page it might move around a little bit but not tremendously and that'll update as we post new things which we anticipate doing you know a couple times a week we've got we've got we've got a lot of stuff to share with you guys um a lot of content so keep an eye out and uh that's that'll be that so thank you guys for joining got it we'll see you next time see y'all soon all right bye now I get to now I get to do the thing where I fiddle around and try to find the end stream button for five minutes and it's all really awkward okay okay it's awkward bye
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