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Episode 231: Post-corona dating calibration, pushing our kids, controlling others
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dear doctors i'm interested in the post coronavirus calibration process that many of us are likely going through or about to go through i would bet that many of us are not feeling very calibrated to the sexual marketplace right now whether we are single or not single people even more so of course i'd be interested to hear how this unique level of isolation we've all experienced leads to decalibration and in the process of recalibrating again i'm just now starting to get back out there and i get the sense that my nervous system is desperate for calibration while at the same time guarded against any potential bad news this may be controversial but i partly feel like some people may be wearing masks to avoid calibration i live in a location with less than 10 cases across a population of a couple million and a geographic area the size of europe yet people are still wearing masks i know there are logical reasons to do so of course but it just occurred to me today that perhaps people could be wearing masks to avoid this post corona calibration getting back to normal means getting calibrated again and covering your face is a way of avoiding this what do you think doctors well this is this is i think jen has plenty to say sounds like a chick question yeah [Laughter] huh yeah this is interesting this is actually um the that point has occurred to me um in part because i have personally had the experience of needing to go run an errand and you know stopping to be like oh yeah you know i should put some lipstick on and brush my hair and then be like uh yeah i'm wearing the mask it doesn't really matter i'm not gonna see anybody they're not gonna recognize me why why go to the trouble so i think there is definitely um the to the point of of people wearing masks to avoid calibration i think there's that's probably a bit overstated there's there's some of it in the sense that you know people are just uh under energy conservation and they're making the same kind of trade-off that i am where it's like oh well you're running to the grocery store and no one can see your face anyway um and people are not expecting to have their normal level of in-person flirtation when they're out and about so all of that is true but i think it's probably a pretty small part of the general cost-benefit analysis of why people are deciding to wear masks or not i think they're they're wearing them for other lots of other reasons some of which are evidence-based and reasonable and some of which maybe are less so and just because you're in a rural area i wouldn't expect that to be terribly different um so that that's a piece of what people are doing but probably a pretty small one i think also the other thing that strikes me about this question is that unless something really meaningfully has changed in your physical appearance since march you're you're not there's not really a big process of recalibration going on so you know what what this person is asking about is sort of what is your what is your market value on the dating market um and we've talked about this a few different times in a few different ways and so that should not have meaningfully changed unless something has meaningfully changed about your appearance or about your mate value in some other way so you know if you if you're no longer employed or your living situation has changed or you're your just your your general station in life has undergone some sort of major transformation which is true for a lot of people um in the past couple of months but the the basics of how attractive you would be to a potential mate are probably not that dramatically different than they were a couple of months ago and they're not that dramatically different from most of the other people who are going to be out there looking for dates and online dating has been going on this whole time like we talked about last week most of the apps now have video video dating people are video chatting and face timing and meeting for socially distanced drinks or not so socially distant strengths i think there's a wide degree of of um following the rules when it comes to this so i don't think it's that big of an issue and that big of a deal i think life sort of goes on in the same way that it was before all of the isolation um that would be my initial take on it um but i don't know if doug has other things to add to that no i don't think so that's all all makes perfect sense to me you know there's all the same reasons are there that we already know are there and and uh yeah no i think that's that's it yeah check it check check it call it good sorry there's not something more interesting going on it's it would be so like sociologically fascinating if there was if if i had the sense that there was a big um you know i mean we talk a lot about competitive avoidance and the ways that people will will latch on to any excuse to avoid fair competition and that's very true and i i do think that that is in the cb of certain individuals but i don't think it's terribly widespread and my uh my self calibration or my calibration you know got kind of set in there at about age 13 and it hasn't moved at 13. is that is that good or bad it was actually i i found out that i wasn't quite as fancy as i had thought i was and then then it stuck right there yeah i think these i think it's really a pretty stable thing unless again unless you've got really dramatic changes in your in your appearance or your life station um which can happen for all kinds of reasons they're not necessarily going to happen thanks to a stay-at-home order so yeah yeah i actually read recently that i think 76 of americans have gained up up to 16 pounds over the last 16 is the average average the the data that i was looking at was yeah yeah if i've only gained two pounds someone out there gained 30. right yeah this sounds like national enquirer data you know well yeah i i never take survey data seriously every every survey class i ever took in grad school i i came out of there just shaking my head at how unreliable even the most sophisticated survey instruments can be so it's really survey data is really really really um to be taken with a huge grain of salt so yeah if that was some usa today poll yeah yeah it was actually probably nothing oh yeah i definitely i have selection bias just because i've been talking to a lot of clients who have obviously had that experience um and so i think it is it's not unheard of that people have gained weight but you know the mask is not going to help you with that so that's uh yeah yeah when i read this question dr lyle and dr hawk um and i know dr hawk here comes the incoming toxic masculinity alarm but when i read this question i was reminded about something uh that dr lyle said a long time ago on the podcast in the beginning when we were talking about um face covers in the middle east yeah and right that there there may be some some you know some women may not have such a problem with it because it evens the competitive field uh yeah as far as the the beauty is sure just that's a nice cold blooded just go ahead and lay it at my door nate right right in front again no less i i mean lowers there i don't even know where to start i mean women in the middle east are exercising a little less freedom of mate choice in general so the compa they're facing a different set of competitive pri i'm just gonna i'm um never mind i'm gonna sit back and smile and nod yeah the the evidence that i remember uh and i can't remember who reported it i have a feeling it was david buss somewhere the uh and that is that uh i believe what i read was that that the older the women got the more ha the happier they were about getting having covering their faces and that but was that time series or was that just pulling older more conservative women yeah that's a good question and i i i wouldn't know you know i can't i can't defend against the gen hot social science acumen [Laughter] yeah well yeah and again survey data survey data in the middle east you know sure autocracy like all of that's pretty unreliable at best so um but it doesn't i mean i i will concede the point that if you have an interest in competitive avoidance and hiding your face you may you may you know be more amenable to a political mandate to cover your face that could be possible but i'd might want to see some sure well i'm i'm glad to see that your toxic masculinity alarm is still out of batteries dr cox it would be this is actually this is i think covet is such an amazing opportunity for not uh you know scientists across the across the academic spectrum including social scientists to to do these kinds of studies you know so this is really an opportunity to generate some robust data looking at those kinds of questions although you know you're not going to get funding to do any kind of long-term study on something like that in any uh major u.s university right now so but it's it does i mean that there are it's this is the pandemic that will launch a million really interesting dissertations if people are willing to ask interesting questions it sounds like it's going to be a very interesting next 10 or 20 years yeah well speaking all right what else we have speaking of the next 20 20 years this is the next two questions are the ones that are a little bit uh different but have similar themes and this is about uh parental influence so dear doctors in uh last few shows ago episode 227 you covered parental influence or lack thereof i'm curious why it seems that so many of us are programmed to want to push our kids to achieve if the long-term influence falls flat could it be all the parents wanting their kids to achieve early success to increase the parents status and therefore possibly increase professional social and mating opportunities could the thinking be that if your kid gets into the prestigious prep school it might increase the likelihood of landing a good network opportunity or a fling with a well-to-do mate or just in general to upgrade your social circle um yeah i mean i think uh let's let's talk briefly obviously it is actually really interesting that they're uh that they're essentially saying look with all of the efforts at education we don't change a person's location with respect to their peers and that that's true however if we were to think about it in a slightly different way and say okay what if you had no education none zero didn't learn how to read or write um then would you be compromised when you were 18 looking for a job the answer would be yeah you probably would be okay so the issue is whether or not the educations are functionally equivalent enough and that essentially uh so that the the outcomes in the educational process just you know are distributed according to the gene quality of of how well people can contribute in the marketplace and therefore trying to make the education quote of higher quality the delta between quote a high quality education and an average education is really nothing it washes out but that doesn't mean the education itself is useless okay so the uh so that's a so now now behind that we're gonna look back through uh through that same concept would if you are a parent in the stone age would it pay to educate your children or just say well it doesn't make any difference anyway no i think it does make a difference so again but but each child is more or less getting a functionally equivalent education close enough the uh so you know fathers or mothers teach kids how to tie knots and you know teach them about local peculiarities of the landscape uh educate them a little bit about the personalities of people in the village and what to look out for in other words there's useful information um uh that comes along with parental or you know uh paraparental instruction and so the uh now so from there you can understand why parents would be interested in educating their children from there it's not a big leap to start to realize that the same instinct that would be in parents try to get them to educate a kid to become more effective could under certain circumstances blossom out further than just attempting to influence the kids education but actually uh go even further and attempting to uh impact their success in the village in competition with uh particularly same-sex you know competitors the let's let's think this through and when we really get down to parents pushing children let's see we've got we've got two different options uh that would that would take us to why it is that this would be an instinct that would be being activated one of them obviously is just general parental education that should be a general species-wide instinct that we should see but when we start to look at the pushiness that's involved in some parents in fact many parents not all though but in but in many parents we see a pushiness and and we see it at two places they'll push the children and they'll also push the social environment in order to either give the child a break or in some way and try to enhance the kids competitive standing with respect to their their competitors so let's try to figure out why one reason would be to increase the child's either survival or reproductive success in the future the other would be to increase your own personal survival or genetic uh or reproductive success and so that's where the the questioner asks this question and you can see the possibility of both um so i had a uh you know a friend of mine a couple of friends of mine there are a couple and they're well steeped in evolutionary theory and uh this uh uh and uh the woman is uh uh quite attractive and the she noticed when she was in a grocery store that she looked over looked down the grocery store and there was a kind of a nice looking guy looking at her and then had his daughter with them and the daughter was you know about five or seven years old and pretty and the guy actually pulled the daughter towards him and then had both of them look at my friend and like smile and be friendly and my friend walked out of there calculating thinking what was he trying to do there and her inference which i think was very intelligent and probably accurate was look at how look how i make beautiful children okay so in other words your your offspring are advertisements of your gene quality of course they are so therefore it would make sense that parents would be using their children as advertisements for themselves for mates uh the national reason that guys will walk a cute dog in the park like it's the same process yeah god i have baptizing personality and parenting skills and all those things oh man now you tell me now you tell me jen yeah get a dog wait aren't dogs oh my god [Music] that's uh that is uh i don't even know the punch line to that joke i'm just gonna i don't know but the point is that that is uh that's the reference that you made you said dogs having having a dog on if you're dating is kind of like having herpes oh well that's uh that's unfortunate [Laughter] oh all right well back to my story before i get totally lost so uh the yeah so you can see that your children are going to be advertisements for your genes and it would have been the case that in the stone age uh we wouldn't have been in super long term pair bonded situations where we're just going to be monogamously parabonded to one guy and we're going to have five children by him no way that's not human nature so human nature is full of stepfatherhood new mates you know it's musical chairs and um so that's how the species is built obviously all we have to do is looking at the dating careers of people as they become increasingly free in the modern world from the shackles of poverty that lead to very very low divorce rates and now we have people that are you know in in free societies you know when they are able they move on and so this is clearly uh the pattern that the species is built on it's not built with intensive pair bonding of an emperor penguin and so uh of course uh then children would be advertisement for mates so yes that's one reason they that parents will push children the uh another uh reason that they will push children is uh what i call why mom cares and that is that you can imagine in the stone age but you would only have a few mates meeting opportunities there was only 2 000 people on earth about 75 000 years ago so they're scattered throughout sub-sahara africa so this is you can imagine like you know that's less than work in my high school so that's not a lot of people and the as a result obviously there's been a lot more people since then it's been a very successful species but very often in hunter-gatherer terms which is where almost all the neural circuits were built even though they've been shaped by agriculture and higher population density since then but the the original equipment is certainly built to be dealing with situations where there are a very low number of mating opportunities and suppose your son for example is a six or a seven and there are there's a ten in the village and a nine in the village and there's a three in the village and there's four or five girls that are about the same age group cohort as those four or five boys and we know the most attractive girl the most attractive boy are likely to get together and the second most attractives are like to get together and the least attractives are likely to get together so their our action might be between your son who's a six and the other son who's seven or maybe your son is the seven and the other woman's son is six and on the other side of the equation there's an eight female and then there's a five female so there could be a 30 percentile reduction in attractiveness of the mates depending upon whether or not you win the eight or you wind up with the five and so that that kind of discrepancy between two alternative mates would have been common in the stone age environment that would not be that's not taking place today so taking place today there's no way if you if you're someone who could claim an eight then you're gonna wind up in that general range uh you're not uh you're not one hair's breath away from being an eight versus a five that's not the way it is now but that is the way it probably was for much of human history and as a result it wouldn't be surprising to find conniving mothers that are essentially trying to figure out how to make their kid look better than the other kids particularly this specific competitor and you know that you know this is what goes on in the soccer stand as mothers talk about how their kid you know plays the game right and how the team does so much better when he's in the game even though he's you know seventh kid on the bench but she's still trying to sell her kids virtues to the village and that's you know it's it could be that she's trying to sell her own genes but it could also be that she's trying to sell his genes which are her genes in attempting to protect against the disastrous theoretical possible drop of 30 points a percentile in a mate those 30 percentile points would cause the any offspring out of there to be 15 percentile less attractive that's a huge deal can be the difference between success and failure in the gene pool period so uh so anyway i i think that those are those are two different you know two completely different reasons uh why it is that parents would push children uh and i think that uh neither of those uh has any breaking force put on it by the the plomanesque discoveries that we can't change personalities and we can't change iq and we're unlikely to have a significant alteration in a major educational effort in someone's you know socioeconomic trajectory uh no that's because people aren't being massively handicapped or massively uh uh what would you call that uh they are also being what do you call it just advantaged advantage yes thank you the uh privileged word of the day very specific meaning i can't even get the word out she's already considering three or four alternatives the uh yeah so but anyway that that's uh yeah the the the quote privilege is not going to be particularly helpful as we're as we're seeing so uh but what would be the the instincts that would be driving the pushing that you see i think personal advertisement for you directly and also a the anxiety that comes with knowing that the other mom is pushing her six or seven trying to get her kid one nose in front of your kid in search of that eight and so if it's game theory if they all got some pushiness involved some braga tree chip about their the genes of their kid then you would expect that if they brag i'm gonna brag and that that uh process then would evolve in the species which i absolutely think that that's exactly what we see we see a bragging chip uh and a pushing chip yeah yeah yeah which you know again has been leveraged massively by social media if you if you're a single mom of that kid trying to show off your jeans and you've got an instagram account where you can show the smiling photo and you're you're in competition with the other single moms with the kid at the soccer game that's a it's a there's a whole incentive structure that's been created by social media that uh you know defaults as a as a marketplace yeah and if not if not an active marketplace at least a a calibration space and an advertising space and everything else you're like the the degree to which humans are always advertising their personality characteristics and their mate value has just been absolutely um you know exaggerated beyond belief by social media incentives so yeah fabulous all right all right nathan fantastic our next question which sounds similar which sounds different i'm sorry uh dear doctors i'm struggling to realize the last chapter of the book how i found freedom in an unfree world where the author describes freedom from wanting to control others i have a 29 year old brother who still lives with my mother he was working before the pandemic but is now currently unemployed he has consistently made thousands of dollars per a month but pays her nothing he says he she doesn't care and he is wanted there she says she doesn't mind in the past i have argued about why this relationship is bad for them both i'm having a hard time with why this situation makes me so angry when really it is none of my business i would love to be free of my concern but it feels deeply concerning that from what i see my brother is exploiting my mother to avoid life and she is enabling him because she doesn't want to live alone yeah that's a uh that that's a nice uh jen i'm gonna just just talk about this and then you whatever it is it's really the same the same problem upside down so yeah go go ahead and elaborate but i think we've basically kind of already covered the dynamic yeah the dynamic is um that what jen and i would try to argue with parents is the following is that your your children are highly incentivized to try to go out there and earn esteem that is going to be useful for them and so they're they're pretty savvy about it and as a result you know if they want to dye their hair purple and they're all determined that that's what they want to do it's probably a good idea to let them do it okay so if it if it reduces your mating success because your kid looks like a freak too bad okay uh the truth is is that they know what they're up to and so we let them experiment and do that and so this is what jen and i call running their own show so your your kid you may say oh no that's a terrible way for you to to win mates i just know that you're you're gonna fail that's a bad strategy oh well how do you know you're you're looking through their mating problem through your own eyes you don't know who they're going for and who they're trying to advertise for they may be advertising to the same sex and you don't even know what's going on with them so the point is is that this is why we let them run their own show now they have to have reasonable expectations of group living so they don't get to dirty the dishes and not do do clean their room you know they have to like answer to us so that they don't make our lives burdensome more than it should be but our job is basically to let them figure their life out and then when they get into trouble or they may be making catastrophic errors that they don't understand then we're going to step in of course the um this is the upside down version of this this is uh this is the same little chip in there of course there could be many reasons uh that we could that we could think through in the situation about why this bothers the questioner i don't think this is the reason but that we could we could immediately say well now wait a second is this just a disturbance of seeing parental resources go to my brother rather than to me okay and principle that yes they the ground work has been laid out even if those resources are not currently in contention this is this is demonstrating that the resources are becoming less and less available to your potential claim on them in the future should you want to make one so right and that you know resources both in terms of her actual assets and and also just her her time and attention i mean those things are all all valid and they're going to interact with the personality of the person who is um asking the question as well but yeah that's the first thing that comes to mind is that there's a resource distribution conflict here yes it could also be the case and what the person is sort of reporting and it very likely is the case that what they're seeing is that they're seeing that their their parent is sort of their child and that they feel like the parent is a vulnerable first degree relative that is being exploited by another first degree relative or it could be anybody but in this case it's a first degree relative and so as a result of that the it's it's raising the ire uh of of our of our questioner and because essentially what what's happening is that it doesn't seem quote fair now remember that that analysis is being run through your eyes it's not being run through the two individuals who are actually making the trade so it's it's useful to know that your mother just like your kid is better at running the cost benefit analysis and looking out for her best her own interest than you are okay so just as you would let your kid dye their head hair purple and shrug your shoulders and roll your eyes and chuckle about it okay in other words if you've got some little rebellious kid that wants to show you you know that you know they listen to bob dylan records and they're looking for the resurgence of the 60s yeah i mean they're they want to show you that how you out of it you are then you know the the worst thing that we can do is fight them about it and the best thing we can do is say go ahead it's your own funeral what do i care okay and just basically drop the rope and don't pull on it and in this case the the uh you have there's been cross-examination and a history of this dynamic and so the mother would appear to be a competent individual uh still cognizant of everything we're not talking about someone with some kind of compromised mental function if the son's 29 that it's unlikely that mom is older than 69 and so this is absolutely comes under the category of let her run her own show and the uh she is in a better position to run the cb and what what is her best interests and examine clearly you know your own your own motivation to see whether or not what's what's upsetting you is to feel like that your brother is winning the contest over mom's you know affections uh uh that that could be what's happening or that could what could also be happening is is that there's actually real live resources that could be possibly on the table but it's disturbing for you to see that dynamic being set up in a way that's not good for you so this is you know more than one uh possibility here but in the end we sort of crystal clear ourselves as to you know why am i angling for those resources if that's if that's an issue and if it is the case that what's being signaled is a possibly greater affection from your for your brother than for you so be it okay there may be there may be temporary or permanent reasons why that could be true and if they are they are and that doesn't mean that your mother doesn't love you just maybe that she may love your brother a little bit more or consider him more needy right now but she wants to invest those resources in order to assist him so complicated cbs that are going through the mother's mind and the printout is i'm fine with it and if she's fine with it you know we need to let it go the the other two things that just come to mind really quickly are the other resource scuffle that is kind of at play here is the the reference to how he the brother was employed and now he's not and he's he's using this relationship with their mother to quote avoid life um and so it's sort of like this observation that hey i'm out here doing things the right way i'm working for my money i'm i'm you know i'm putting in my time i'm slogging through like it's not fair that you're getting this free ride um and so that's that's very much that's going to drive that the anger that's coming from that perception of that kind of fairness like i i you know i could take the easy road too but i have better character and so i'm not doing that but that that cb that's being run by that brother like both of their cbs it's really interesting i i've had so many people ask me to in the last couple of days what on the podcast when you say cb what do you mean so just one it's cost benefit analysis so i know i know that we i always try to spell it out at least once but just in case people are confused we're talking about the the cost benefit analysis where people are you're always making trade-offs you're always an analyzing is is this worth my time and energy based on the perception of what i'm going to get in trade for the effort that i'm putting into it so those both of the these humans have enough experience where they have run the cb and they have they have likely come to conclusions in the brothers case um that that you know maybe he is not looking at that much competitive success out there in the working world and this sort of little bit of this this uh ego trap this kind of like you know go live at home with mom not only is it just uh strategically better you know he's not necessarily doing it for uh evil reasons or or like directly avoidant reasons he may be doing it because he's perceiving that he can't otherwise be very successful in a fair marketplace so that's that's part of what might be going on and then for the mother's part she's also had many opportunities to run the cb on how else she can have companionship and she may not be very well calibrated on the on the mating market she may not be looking for romantic companionship she may not have very many good friends and this is really the sum total of her social experience and she she has had enough of an opportunity to evaluate that and and really think about it and this this comes out as favorable for her as well so they have a little dynamic that is irritating that you are outside looking in on um but it is an equilibrium that is mutually beneficial to both of them as doug is saying and and you are just it's there's this feeling that it's not fair and you've been left out and you have to do it the hard way and that sucks but that is that's wonderful wow thank you dr hockford oh good beautiful dr lyle as well all right so our next question dear doctors when women write quote family oriented end quote on a dating profile is this code for quote looking for man who will invest all his resources into me and our potential children and also quote i'm vetting your current relationship with your mother as proof my goodness someone cynical uh i mean it's i i'll just go ahead and jump in it sounds like another chick question um i would say when women write that they're family oriented on dating profile yes they are definitely signaling very strongly that they're looking for a pair bonder and not for casual mating so one way to interpret that is that they're looking for a man who will invest all of his resources into me and our potential children although that's a little bit of a cynical way to look at it um vetting your current relationship with your mother is proof maybe in certain circumstances but not not necessarily i mean um family oriented in the sense that yeah they're going to want to know that you're you have a good relationship with your family in general or if you don't i mean i think this is going to come down to there's going to be a lot of different individual variations on what different women mean by that phrase some are going to use it to mean you you really want to have children and some are going to use it to me and you spend every weekend hanging out with your family so um i wouldn't take that too broadly when you encounter it i would take it as an absolute signal that she's a pair bonder and she's not looking for a one-night stand um and you know i'm i'm always encouraging women on their dating profiles to to absolutely drop these kinds of signals to potential suitors because it's um you don't there's no there's this there's this feeling that you want to be kind of coy and subtle on your dating profile about what you're looking for because you don't want to rule out too many people um so you want to kind of there there are these key phrases that my friends and i always used to make fun of when we would look at profiles which are you know that you're trying to signal both that you're up for fun and that you're very serious and family-minded so the you know equally at home and um high heels and tennis shoes was a phrase that we would just see over and over and over again or equally at home in a wine bar and a baseball stadium you'd see that one in boston all the time and so this kind of i'm i'm up for anything i'm you know i'm i'm here i'm going to front that i'm available for casual mating but really i'm i'm lurking looking for a pair bond don't don't do that if you're really truly looking for a pair bond you want to be really deliberate with those signals and make it really clear to the guys that you're looking for that that's that's what you're in this game for and a phrase like family oriented is one of those ways to do that god that's great jen i hadn't i hadn't quite grabbed that and that is a um yeah i mean i i'd sort of gotten there before but i hadn't quite nailed that that's beautiful this is um this is a uh this is a derivative actually a uh the little little deal that i did last week or two on our on our website called how to solve a problem and a and a key issue in problem solving which is solving a problem is finding a way to close the distance between where you are now and where you want to be and that that's a goal and then there are problems that stop you know its problems are obstacles on our way to goals and one of the biggest uh difficulties that people will sometimes face is that they have multiple agendas and so they have they have uh more than one goal and those goals are actually not consonant and so there they have different behavioral pathways to get to get to them and i.e contradictory and so the the the natural confusion that sits inside of the female uh mating strategies you know both trying to pass on their genes to a sexy son from some sexy flandering dude that's going to leave him love him and leave him that's sort of that's in there that's the titillated possible chip inside the female that is receptive to casual mating for exactly that reason and at the same time though uh a bigger more dominant component of female psychology is parabon strategy and so you can see it's funny that the quote high heels and baseball game thing that is is precisely she's splitting the difference so she's literally signaling two different signals and she herself is halfway confused you know yeah well she thinks she can redeem the bad boy she thinks right right with the high heels that's right snag him and turn him into a stadium goer with the tofu dog and the kids so yeah it's not gonna happen right the guy that you snag with the casual mating signal is not going to magically turn into prince charming with a pair bond these are two different candidates on the online dating profile yes matrix and so you can advertise to one or the other but you cannot advertise to both or if you advertise to both you're you're going to be dealing with a lot of broken heartedness with the casual mating suitors who are who are self-deceptive and very interested in deceiving you and you're going to feel all excited and weak-kneed and over-rewarded by them and then you're going to be very bitter and cynical after a couple of years of being loved and left in a hurry and and ghosted repeatedly before you can go to that baseball game huh dr hawk speaks the truth i i had this i've had this exact scenario uh on the phone in consults uh at least twice in the last two weeks so this is uh this is a yeah i think we've you know we we got the math right jen you know it does it won't explain every twirl of everybody of every person's game but it explains that the mega trends that sit under these dilemmas without a doubt that's great all right i think that's about enough dr hawk solved enough of the world's problems yeah all good we've gotten ourselves into enough trouble yeah we got it dr lyle dr hawk thank you so much we will look forward to answering asking and answering some more questions next week fantastic good thank you nathan you
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