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Episode 207: Calibrating to the market, Showing off genes in the cold, Finding a mate
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I understand from evolutionary psychologists that certain market distortions like a large number of females in college or a small number of males in elderly age affects the quality of partners that we are willing to date what I'm not sure about is how this calibration changes subjective experience do people only change their behavior to attain a partner or do they also feel more attracted to people of perhaps lesser gene quality this it's a really good question but it's such a it's such a bizarre amalgam of xx first century data analytics and and the Stone Age in other words in history you never knew what the base rates were so nobody was telling you oh guess what you're 70 year-old woman now you're pretty well screwed that was a pretty limited data selection yeah yeah so yeah the ants the answer is is that people don't know the stats all they know is their subjective experience so the I suppose some bizarre incredibly left brain dead ahead could could somehow railroad over their internal experience and say you know what the truth of the matter is I'm a 72 year old female that means my odds are horrendous therefore horas over there who I find has almost no appeal the fact that he has any at all I better just take it the this is not this is not happening so the way the way it works is that the the base rates that you're surrounded by as well as the base rates that are that are circulating around in your head from your memory systems these things are all put together in an amalgam of that that sets goals for you with respect to any competitive enterprise so so when it comes to mates friends or trading partners so let's let's get it out of the romance arena for just a minute and let's use it a little bit differently so let's suppose that you got your first job and you made twenty thousand a year then the next you've got a raise to got two thirty then you got two forty and then by the time you were forty years old you got yourself two fifty thousand okay so now there's a mild recession there's a cutback at your work and it's a let's suppose that you know they liked you and everything but they had to cut you and so so now you're unemployed so now somebody comes along and says well you know competitor says you know what we'll pick you up we're gonna but we can give you forty thousand so now you know you're not wild about it but you're real interested and then another competitor says you know we're gonna we can give you forty seven now you're pretty happy about that okay why because you've now sort of seen the marketplace you've calibrated and now you're actually pretty excited about forty seven because the alternative was forty and other than that it was unemployed so you you don't need to know what's happening in the whole market at all you just need to know what's happening for you and a sense of what the base rates are out there you you can't really can't get excitement or non excitement about anything unless you have some semblance of your own chances with respect to some some asset you know obtaining an asset or losing it so that's how it works you're designed by nature to have your nervous system constantly updating what your expectations should be you it wouldn't work very well otherwise okay so I actually had a client worrying about their child and wanted their child wanted to hold their child back a year in order to give their child greater advantages as they would go through all the grades and the conversation was kind of entertaining yes we talked about this the the the notion that was sort of rattling around inside the skull of the parent was if if I could get my child to have essentially more wins then they're gonna have more confidence and if they're gonna have more confidence then somehow when they're swaggering around when they're in their 20s they're gonna be they're gonna wind up with fancier mating opportunities than they would have otherwise and and therefore if they get a 10% fancier mate then I wind up with a 5% fancier grandchild now that's not what consciously the person was thinking but that is in principle exactly what they were thinking and what the reason why this doesn't fly is because what's going to happen in the person's 20s is going to be a dynamic of the current marketplace they're not going to be carrying forward a confidence that will not be dynamic the diet how much confidence they have or don't have is going to experience more confidence in their in their process from year to year if they're a little bit older and a little bit bigger stronger more developed a little bit smarter whatever it is they may feel that at the time but that confidence will all go entirely down the drain as soon as the the circumstances change so everybody that has ever gone to a fancy university and and taken you know introductory biology or calculus knows this okay comparison I was thinking of like take in the first day of any class of my PhD program where you had the top of a class from every undergraduate institution all coming together in the grad program it's like everybody's suddenly insecure for the first time in their life it's like oh god am i do I actually stand a chance of getting a B in this class the horrifying it's amazing it's amazing to me how similar this is to business because remember my dad or you know you know was tell me as you know no matter how good of a business you used to be if you are not currently providing a good good product or service no one cares right maybe last two years right you could if you could dump it on the next sucker before before they ask for the quarterly report for year three so correct okay this so this is the this is actually why by the way I call my website and my approach to all this and now I say me but it's also Jen and my friend Rick Seidel psychologists we're gonna call this if I can call Jenna psychologist which I do call Jenna psychologist even though in theory she's slightly other kind of species so the that's why we call it esteem dynamics it's the the point to this is that esteem processes are always dynamic so the the feeling that the little kid has all the way might be great to have them you know lording it over other kids by an additional 10% but as soon as the game changes nobody really cares and what the what the mating dynamics will be will not the derivative of what that person's experience was before okay so every every young kid that scrambles around and tries to make an NFL team knows this that that kid was an absolute superstar in college got drafted in the NFL in the sixth round and barely beats somebody out to make you know the practice squad the first year made a good salary doing it but it's like oh my god the attitude is suddenly I'm too good to be anything other than the quarterback to hey you know all all change the water buckets and I and hopefully I get into be a that can be on the kickoff team okay calibration so the calibration processes are always inherently dynamic they certainly will carry a residual of the of the past for a good reason and that is that the past could recur there are you know so if if it turned out that you were once worth $50,000 then there's a very good chance that that's going to happen again even if you go through a recession and a dip okay so the so that that's how this is going to work so in the mating arena we go back to the mating arena for the question what's going to happen is we're always looking through the lens and the way the systems will work is they're always looking through the lens of the person's subjective experience so they don't say oh well it's a lousy market situation so therefore you know I don't I don't want this person but I'll just take it for a mate I mean some people might do such a thing that are that are very needy and would somehow have see almost no positive feelings towards some specific mate but we'll take one because why because it rids them of some really big time loneliness that they would otherwise have that's that's certainly possible to some degree but even then you're looking at a complex Seabee that's responding to to market dynamics so in general the the big answer is that these things that are happening are happening wordlessly unconsciously and automatically in calibration systems so this is I've also been very interested in this there's been sociology that have looked at this kind of data analysis through the lens of essentially mating competition over the last 50 60 70 years and I have never analyzed the Gen you might know more about this in political science because that I'm sure there's been poly SCI data heads that have done similar things in politics but one of the the things that's interesting is sort of if there are lesser females relative to males in a given period of time it appears that the males that that marriage rates go up it's like the guys feel the pressure they can't play the field okay and when there's yeah and when there's more females relative to the male suddenly the males are less likely to marry so the it appears that you know there's there's no way that some guys got a protractor and a calculator in his pocket trying to decide this is all happening because the subjective dynamics as people respond to rejection and acceptance cues and have excitement versus less excitement versus no excitement over options this is all being driven by the subtlest of market dynamics that flowed through a population and impact an individual's set of opportunities that's wonderful now dr. Lauer dr. hog do you have any insight as to how long you know or I guess maybe how long a Cal a recalibration might take for example this is this is actually what I'm thinking let's say let's say I date a woman who's way out of my league to the positive so I'm very over rewarded and data for long enough to where she realizes I'm the over one breaks up dumps me and then and then the next girl that I'm gonna be looking for is I'm gonna have to get recalibrated till I really you know to to the marketplace is there a timeframe for that I mean is that that you've seen in your experience six months five years ten years maybe never depending on how the the thing is is that the your your attractiveness mechanism so their words the things that you find attractive are are really not going to change okay so you you're still picking up a you know sexually sexualized characteristics and you they're still does your you have innate systems that are designed to signal excitement or cause excitement if you see feel touch here etc those those stimuli the only question is now how are you going to behave with respect to the sort of pair-bond council mating strategy dynamic around those things so that's that's a little bit of a different story and that's where I believe your recent experience would would make a difference there was you had some some young lady that you would have been interested in getting your hands on Nathan wolf that you are I smile and smile is that that that same individual just because you were over rewarded for a while will still cause those same essential visceral reactions but you may be harder to negotiate with and so that's and that may may last just I don't think that those are those are likely to have very a lot of stickiness to them in other words there's nothing about the one market experience of being over warded that's going to be any stickier than the next time when this girl that you would like but if she's putting up more barriers to you and you're seeing the barriers and you're a little irritated because you're thinking hey well wait a second have you haven't you seen you know don't you know the law of transitivity didn't you go to high school didn't you do some high school and Matt okay yeah did guys show you the picture the girl that sort of just dumped me but I sort of dumped her and we was sort of mutual okay the so the thing is is that she's not caring about that transitivity if she cares about her own assessment of you etc and so she's gonna play her own game and you're gonna find out that person's feedback is just as important as the other girls feedback okay why would we why would our service system be so transfixed by the beauty queens feedback and not by this other person who qualifies importantly on on to a certain degree but not as not as spectacularly her feedback is also going to be important so the point is is that your nervous system is constantly updating and readjusting I have found myself subjectively on this very question changing my watching my own internal confidence and feelings in a matter of an hour so the point is that yeah the answer is that these things are highly dynamic mmhmm yeah I guess you know I think of the pleasure trap where you know if you even highly stimulating foods you know and it might take a one to three months for your taste buds to recalibrate if you you know deprive yourself of the the highest stimulating food and you know so I was wondering if there's such a such a similar you know conceptual thing with dating and other things really interesting that's a great question an analogy and the answer I believe would be no so the the supernormal stimuli and the defense of the essentially neurological architecture to try to defend against that is not going to be the same thing as a market calibration phenomenon hmm market calibration phenomena would be much faster oh I see so it's faster than okay okay mm-hmm oh yeah yeah believe me like you might take six weeks so that before you can eat an apple without candy on the top of it but in in four days when you get the pink slip you're gonna be recalibrated of what you're worth mm-hmm and so no it's not it's not going to take this is not a hard recalibration problem the system is designed by nature for accuracy and it's gonna it's gonna move pretty quickly to try to triangulate on whatever the whatever the truth is okay okay yeah in my mind I was thinking of and I know this is a completely different topic altogether but my mind I was thinking of the the the TV trope of the the broken the broken person after a breakup they're like I'll never date anybody again and for six months they're wallowing in one year they're walling obviously it's the they've got a well at the shirtsleeves but but that's that's kind of what was in my mind about you know is there a calibration mechanism for you know dating but that's that's actually that's actually a little different situation and that is is that if someone is hanging on to something where they were temporarily over rewarded and in a relationship and then they got dumped a reason why they'll hang on isn't that there are now miscalibrated it's that they they are there are a lot of times scheming and hoping that it's going to return which would have happened a lot in the Stone Age mmm-hmm so that's going to a lot of times dissuade them from getting into a new relationship that's not as fancy just because hey they want to be available okay so yeah I think that's a little more complicated situation that's what I'm thinking Jen what's your thoughts on that yeah I think that's a very very likely when something like that is going on it's because you're scheming and hoping that the person's gonna go out there and attempt to find other options and fail and slink back to you eventually I think that's a very common interpretation of that I think also sometimes that can be a little bit ego trap behavior so people have you know are despairing of ever finding anyone who is as fancy as the person that they've lost and so they just decide to kick over the table and well I'm just gonna sit here and eat ice cream and and play the role of the the wrong partner and I'm not even gonna go back out there on the market and screw it so there's there's definitely some of that going on in a lot of cases as well I I'm still sort of thinking there's there's there's something more to think through on the on the earlier question with the I totally see what where you're coming from with me you know nobody is permanently miscalibrated it just becomes a matter of you know at what point do you assign pair-bond value to to another applicant rather than casual mating value and I think that works differently for women than it does for men to some degree and and we'd have to think through that a little more but just because women are not as inherently interested in casual mating just generally and they're definitely not they're not making that initial just physical value assessment as the you know bulk of the mate value so I think when when women and men have interacted and had a relationship with the unicorn and the bar remains set at a very high level and for men that can just mean okay well you you know the next applicant who comes along that's not a unicorn still interesting just not going to be paraben material but for women it's like well why bother if it's not if you're not dealing with very fancy jeans but you've had a unicorn who did qualify you know this this non fancy new applicant is certainly not worth a casual mating strategy so it's it's the threshold remains recalibrated at a higher level for women who are more proud that's very very interesting yeah that would be my feeling about what's going on there and just might my own rants and also that of a lotta men that I've talked to his clients and as you know friends over ice cream and pajamas after a breakup vegan ice cream of course that's really interesting that's great that's a whole that is the other side of that mountain very good yeah great yeah yeah good cool let's go on what else we got Nathan alright alright our next question do doctors when I was in my 20s I used to go to bars and wait in line to get in during the winter in Montreal winters can be very cold - 10 - 20 degrees but I would always see girls waiting in the cold without proper clothing and these happen to be the sexiest girls my buddy would be impressed with them saying that they seemed to have a supernatural ability to beat the cold I wasn't so impressed because I knew that they wanted to send a message and that that that that message was that excuse me I was not so impressed because I knew that they wanted to send a message and that no one is immune to cold besides I knew that we had no chance with these girls and that most of the time they were smoking which I really abour my question is do you think that exhibiting the capacity to sustain a noxious stimulus can be used as the gene quality signal and do you think that smoking can also be viewed in this way it's obviously a pleasure trap but maybe smokers want to send the signal we'll look how high-quality my genes are I can get away with smoking with impunity it sounds like my adolescence so I'll go ahead and take this sure I grew up in Alaska which was very cold and I I literally I clearly remember the day that I basically got the memo that all the hot girls did not feel the cold at all so it was definitely a signal it was a very important signal when you were you were waiting for the bus this was probably we were probably 10 or 11 years old when this happened that that your popularity and your your success in that middle school was directly proportional to how how resistant to wearing snow pants in the winter you were even if it was 40 below outside so this was very much understood among among everybody and I remember like remarking on it I actually remember I will not out her by name but I remember her name I remember waiting at the bus stop with this with this one very popular girl who was you know just wearing a short skirt in bare legs on a day that was it was literally was probably 20 below Fahrenheit so is and she you know was completely unbothered just got on the bus it was all cool no problem showed a little light jacket on and you know the the 10 10 11 year-old female brain is going is chunking through that going okay well that's that's required to be cool that's required to be sexy and popular so noted okay goth got that logged away I think that is a different process than smoking so the question is about you know noxious stimuli and and whether that's a Jean quality signal I think definitely displaying to the to the village that you can withstand the cold is definitely my jeans are very superior check me out you know you want to mate with me even though I'm 10 years old but you know eventually this is this is definitely a presentation of higher jean quality I think what's happening with the smoking is that later in high school all those same girls are are congregating in the smoking section around all the jimmies so it's not the it's not the proximity it's not the noxious stimulus of the of the nicotine or the smoke it's the it's the proximity to the jimmies because the jimmies are all smoking so and at some point in my travels I came across some suggestive little study that was really self evident and obvious but at least they they went to the effort to research it and document it which is that women are reading risky behavior for men is a casual mating signal so that men who are who were drinking or who are smoking or who are Daredevils on their motorcycles are more likely to be interpreted by the female brain as open to casual mating I know this is shocking but you know actually demonstrated the system's about how about how about competitive ping pong does that count did they have that in this study still haven't found a woman yet at that the ping pong plays though she's out there so I think with what you're seeing and smoking smoking sections outside of bars or outside of high schools or anywhere in the cold is this combination of things so you have these women who are displaying superior gene quality by their there's their amazing immunity to the cold that they want you to believe that they have and also just the you know they're showing off more skin as part of that so it's part of the display that is a helpful addition to that whole process and and they are hanging out with the smokers because the smokers are more likely to be open to casual mating and their jimmies and so they're just inherently more interesting because gym users are more likely to be smokers and then they are exposing themselves to a pleasure trap process so many of them are going to become smokers themselves that's that's what I think would be happening they're not that they are smoking as a way to signal superior gene quality per se but that it's all coming kind of bundled together in a larger sexual display that's that's my interpretation of probably what's going on there Doug might have other thoughts though yeah no I that all sounds pretty Square to me the one thing that that strikes me as a as a note that would be open for discussion is whether or not the exposure the female exposure to cold is an unconscious display of genetic superiority I I that the let me tell you why that in other words I believe they're wanting to show skin and ID or that they're wanting to show body contours yes and I think it's context dependent I think when you're in when you're in a cold place where everybody else is very bundled up that it is it's yeah you're a little just like hey I can drink with the boys you know I can I can keep up I can drink just as much beer as you can it's it's a similar sort of like I'm again a testosterone qie more casual baiting so it's a display of availability to casual mating in addition to the proximity with the gyms you're also showing that you're tougher so being being tougher me translates to more testosterone as translates more open to casual mating yeah I think I can see let's just talk about this for just a minute because you know I've never I think I've been in a swanky nightclub place once for about 15 minutes they must have not had a cover cover charge okay I don't remember I think it was in San Francisco I can't I know it had to have been so and it was cold outside and you know I also I've certainly been downtown where you'll see you know lines of a hundred people waiting to get in you're gonna see females in short skirts you know and it's 40 degrees outside so my thinking is that these are females that are abs solutely totally determined to display so they're very competitive in this arena and they mmm they know that that the right move is to show a bunch of skin minimum amount of clothes show off contours etc that this is these are major-league casual mating strategy displays and the yeah I think though that it's it's I don't think they're trying to get extra points for how tough they are to stand up to the cold I think they're just absolutely determined to not subtract points from putting any clothes on yeah and and they're waiting outside which means they haven't been led in so if they put on clothes and the bouncer may not even let them in right yeah that's a very true so they're self-selecting out 54 yeah yeah I think definitely that that applies in the case of adult women outside a nightclub in San Francisco yes I think that is all about you know how much skin can I show off and I'm just gonna tough it out and shiver and it's gonna be fine yeah I do just just as someone who who grew up in a very cold place where you know I experienced these dynamics firsthand and and felt that sort of impulse to show off some superior gene quality then yes definitely associated with with an immunity to to an ever-present environmental factor that was you know affecting other people more than it affected me so I was I was more recent no way I can see that actually I can see that more of a phenomenon in a place like Alaska yeah that's what I'm saying yeah no I understand that now now now that actually makes sense to me so that that now I see why you're saying that and I see how absolutely that could be true as a young as a young boy you could also want to show how tough you were against the cold in Alaska you could see the same kind of thing oh right but you wouldn't you be seeing that at 40 degrees outside the thing in San Francisco the guy just wanted to look cool as hell he's not really trying to so ya know I now I see now I think we're converging on on similar thinking there so now I'm now I'm happier good yeah like satellites satellites who were yes carry an umbrella thank you for a woman's planning that to both of us as a doctor lie on to sit back and make a mug of tea while I tell you how it is boy that's beautiful dr. Lyle had his first experience with mansplaining recently oh do tell your sister mansplain to you because she did the only human on the planet who you would allow to actually man she absolutely did that's right all right our next question I am an introverted married woman in my mid-40s I have a friend whose signal and in her early 60s she frequently asks me and a small Covey of women who all happened to have mates to go out dancing to dinner etc via group texts as I refused to go to night clubs I occasionally join them for dinners maybe twice a year but I refused to go to night clubs my question is does a woman increase her chances of finding a mate if she surrounds herself with other women is she attempting to create a lure of some sort I don't want to continue to be uncooperative about assembling with the group if this is something that could potentially increase her chances at finding someone any insight into this would be greatly appreciated well first of all first of all her chances of finding a mate had to do with a multitude of things and and her increasing her chances had to do with her displaying her attractiveness working on her attractiveness fishing where the fish are and etc okay and working on getting yourself calibrated so that some poor Horace may qualify so the so the issue with what our questioner is relationships in principle are built around time spent together where it is mutually enjoyable or profitable so the the time that we spend with a friend doing something we don't want to do because it might be the friends benefit that's a price to a relationship that in principle we don't want to be paying and so I think of relationships as Venn diagrams and where with there an intersection of mutual interests where it is profitable to expend your time and energy in in those mutually gratifying pursuits that I went when we start to push the envelope and increase the overlap between the two diagrams then we can turn something from highly profitable to a lot less profitable and so in principle my attitude would be don't do anything you don't want to do okay so that's that's where I come down now you might say well now wait a second the would should that be a hard and fast rule no because if a little bit of hassle on my part would save Jen a tremendous amount of time and energy then it's it then it's an important trade it's a it's a friendship process where and then hopefully you know if that were true there would be a big a big gratitude signal from Jen and I'd be delighted to not only get that signal but delighted to to be helpful knowing that I been helpful but those those shouldn't be the the heart and soul of how things are organized those are going to be you know periodic opportunities that are going to be reciprocal this this problem of this woman finding a mate isn't gonna happen because one were better-looking than her woman joins her in the group bar and so therefore maybe some who on earth is going to run that gauntlet go over there and signal to her like how is this all gonna happen all right no she needs to be on match.com or eHarmony com or she needs to set up a little thing at a at a car show saying that she knows all about mustangs so that all the old guys could talk to her that's a good she has to find some fishing mechanism it's gonna work man explained about Mustangs boy that sounds like my fondest dream where do I sign up for that but the point is here that this is this comes under the category of not your problem and don't make it your problem to the detriment of burning hours of your life you know what this doesn't make any sense walking through my own thought process on this so it's not necessarily me arguing with you but so like when I was reading this question I thought well twice a year mathematician of misery for the benefit of staying in to France staying in a friend group so that when you get invited to you know dinners or parties or you know not not huge parties like you know nightclubs but you know just little get-togethers where now you increase your chances of finding other other mates what's your thoughts on my thought process there well I don't even I can't even follow it so now whittled this thing down to twice a year yeah and the question she said she joins them for dinners maybe twice a year but she refuses to go to nightclubs okay well that points any do you want to go to those dinners why seer I mean if it's some price then why are we doing it in the first place right if we can't handle it yeah go ahead go ahead and Jen yeah I think some of it also what I got what I heard and the question was like is is there a is there enough of an advantage to her friend in terms of finding a potential mate by having other women around you know is this so it's it's kind of a fish trick you know you know if if you're surrounded by women more attractive than you are you more likely to be approached in that nightclub and therefore is the see beyond showing up twice a year to facilitate that process worthwhile but I think even if it were and it probably would be you know it probably would work to that to that extent if you if you're kind of acting as as a wing woman for your friend and luring and some bait wing but you're just learning and casual mating game yeah right you said it it's just learning and casual mating Heartbreakers so like they're they're gonna they're gonna come in it's a nightclub scene this is all casual mating all the way you're you're poor naive friend is gonna get you know sucked into this whole process and get ghosted and then it's it's like rinse repeat this cycle so that goes back to the general advice that she should be on match.com god forbid or yeah one of the other one of the other ominous-looking yeah ii harmony is some some paid website i really this is what I keep telling all of my my women clients is that you know require the guy to at least make a tiny bit of provision to show up on this website like get off of tinder get off of OkCupid these are free a casual mating markets so at least if he's paying 50 bucks a month to be on the website he's provision he's making a slight provisioning effort to be there so you have a better chance of finding people men who were interested in pair bonding at least in principle at a nightclub if your if your fish tricking and trying to pull somebody in with casual mating signals like this is a disaster waiting to happen so especially if it's if it's a bit of a burden to your CV to show up and to come out and go to the thing to start with even if it is only a couple times a year so if it's fun and you enjoy it and it's a social activity that no provides some additional benefit beyond that then by all means go for it but otherwise yeah not worth it I'm an introvert I vote no says the introvert yes just told us he's only been to one nightclub ever hi doctor hawk it's been probably about a hundred 80 episodes since dr. Lyle told us what the fish trick was can you tell us in your words what the fish trick is yeah I don't remember I can't remember exactly why it's called the fish hook it's a reference to a particular kind of fish that is engaged in mimicry right but you can you can fill in the details here but the idea is is that we are updating our assessment this actually kind of goes back to the first question we we're updating our assessment of somebody's mate value relative to what other people are assessing their mate value to be so this is why women will ask their friends so what do you think of this guy like I met this new guy what do you think do you think he's hot they're they're calibrating whether they are properly rewarded by him or not relative to the consensus of the group just in case they have any crazy distortion there so it's a little bit of a comparison process that's going on and in this case it would be working in the in the sense that if you're if they're a bunch of women kind of gathered together and some of them are hot and some of them are maybe less hot it's worth approaching the whole group because the hot women are bringing up the the average mate value of the whole collective but I can't I can't remember the details about what kind of fish it is and what the where the original story comes from thank you yeah comes from a particular tropical fish off of Madagascar that there we go yeah so we'll talk about that another day but it's basically it's the notion of that just think of the fish trick as two women in a bar and a to two women who are eight or sitting in a bar and in walks a guy that one of them thinks is a 10 and the other one thinks he's an eight and a half and so the one who thinks is 210 is instantly weak in the knees and her brain is scrolling through the possibility of casual mating and so she turns to her friend and says wow what do you think of that guy and her friend says yeah pretty good but indicates that it's not nothing to be weak knees over the what's gonna happen inside the first woman's brain is oh I guess he's not actually a ten now she isn't she's still very attracted to him but her brain says her brain makes a quick assessment by reducing her error in this decision by having polled another individual of the species and basically says ooh he must only be a nine okay I must be subjectively overrating him so it cools her jets a little bit okay and in doing so reduces the odds of making an impulsive mistake which would be to give up the eggs easily etc without scanning the interior the thing to carefully because we're so impressed by the paint job that that is worth the it's worth it to get that paint into the next generation on top of our kid okay so that's that's what's going on and by checking it cools her Jetson says no okay alright then now I need to see more before it's worth it and that's that's the fish trick and that has been found that kind of use of another brains assessment of a mate has been found in tropical fish so if we if it's in the brains of tropical fish female fish looking at males and the stripes on their sides which is exactly what was found here then it's believe me it's in humans humans wouldn't fail to use that same process so we call it a trick because that's what we do in advertising we pretend that you know all four out of five dentists recommend tried it okay so it's like oh well it must be really good then okay so in other words we're acting like all the fish are going for this guy even though they're not but if we pretend we can trick somebody into thinking that there's a high value consensus and that's what that's what this is is that's what marketing is is constantly trying to run fish tricks on humans to try to get them to overvalue a stimulus by pretending that there's a consensus mhm and now if if the male walks in and he's he looks just physically like a seven for example but then he's got a he's got a female who's in the 90th percentile attractiveness on his arm what is what does that do to the to the females watching him walk into the bar to their psychology yeah give us some pause right yeah like what what don't I know about this guy am I not immediately picking up like this no God or somehow did he hire her did he yes you know does he have a wonderful personality like it might warrant a little more investigation than you would otherwise give them yeah actually it's it's you know it's been shown and and with scientific investigation that the first inference that the females have in that situation is that he makes a lot of money yeah which makes perfect sense it's like it's clearly she's not trading genes for Jin's it's obvious she's trading down so she must be getting a lot of resources or smelling a lot of resources so that must be what it is and that's that's the that's inference number one there would be others but that's going to be the the most prominent inference that's that's yeah there would be a lot of nuance you know yes with the presentation of the female to like yes female you know it's sort of more you know more attractive but has kind of a down-to-earth vibe that might not be the first inference it might know though he's got a really great personality or they you know they he's he's an Aquarius and she's but if the female that he's with is extremely fancy very dressed up but you know very sort of flashing some bling herself then that that might absolutely be the first inference that women so yeah and if it's too big a discrepancy you're right they wonder if he's hired no totally every time except sure many yeah absolutely many a 25th reunion has had that yeah
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