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Episode 131: Health questions, What to say when friend asks if she's overweight Are there cultural shifts
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all right good evening everybody it's Nate G here along with dr. Doug Lyall dr. Lyle how you doing this evening it about yourself you doing good I'm doing pretty good here at the fast escape taking a look at some health questions we got a couple of health questions that came in to the email both my hello fast you escape email and the be Eugene's email so I figured we'd tackle them this this week good all right all right so dr. Lyle I've been struggling with my weight forever every diet that I've tried I've done diligently and the weight has come off but eventually it all comes back again it's to the point that I'm just tired of searching and trying different diets that I know probably won't work I know and I feel I need to make a change in the whole foods plant-based dot looks a lot of sense but I'm not I'm at the point where I'm not sure if I have what it takes to deal with all the cravings and everything else that I've done whenever I tried a new diet in addition I constantly have to deal with my friends and family argue with me about the changes in my new diet which they have done every time I've tried what should I do okay this it's actually a deceptively complicated question there's actually quite a few issues that this person is raising so let's let's begin with the first one and that is that the the person talks about how the weight always comes back the now let's talk about why that would be the reason is that there's actually a folklore out there about the concept of the setpoint so people think that you know dr. Phil calls that your get real you know what you're really going to weigh so if you know if you're 40 pounds overweight you get real weight might be that you can lose 15 pounds and you're never going to lose any more the the reason why people think that essentially there's a set point is because so often they're if they lose weight for a while their weight turns returns back to that point now that's not because there's some magic there's some magic you know homing device inside your head that is headed to that wait what it means is that your behavior is inherently stable so when the person shifts their behavior as this person has talked about I'm going to assume it's a she just because males with snarl with the family and friends and so it's a woman that's more sensitive about probably this negative feedback the so the what's happening is is that her behavior is a stable at a given way and then she goes on some kind of a diet and then her behavior has changed so her weight then changes and then what happens is her behavior changes back and her weight then goes back so it's people tend to think of it as the weight mysteriously heads back right to where it started but in fact it's the behavior returns to where they started and therefore the weight that follows okay so it's important to realize that that no animal is designed to be overweight and if you're overweight it's because we're consuming we're consuming foods that are too rich animals don't overeat the amount of foods and neither to humans what they can do however is they can eat too many calories so there's a difference so if a person typically it's about four pounds of food a day they're going to more or less eat those four pounds of food in all probability pretty close and the only way that that person would ever systematically overeat would be a if there were to eat a diet that was inconsistent with the natural history of the species so and and that dot and that diet being when I say inconsistent inconsistently rich in other words I mean there's more calories per pound or per cubic centimeter however it is that you want to call it there's more calories in the food than would have been typically the case in our natural history so if you you know animals able to we feed on their food in their natural history do not systematically overeat and they don't get fat so the reason why the person has weight return and she's failed repeated times on diets is that that the food she eventually returns to is not food to the natural history it's the rich food of the modern modern fair in some combination so she sounds like she's very health conscious so even when she's when she's struggling with her weight and she's at her sort of baseline high weight she may be doing a lot of things right and that that baseline weight is the result of some X percentage of those calories being above the the calories consistent with the natural history of the organism if she were to add some cheese and crackers and olive oil then her weight would even go up further than that okay so some diet guru convinced her that she should be dipping her her broccoli and olive oil then that person would then gain weight and they would gain weight until they hit some equilibrium you know that might be ten or twenty or thirty pounds heavier than than she is now so then now she talks about further so she's really frustrated tried a bunch of different diets and of course virtually every diet the solution that is being proposed is some some combination of two concepts two or three concepts but predominantly two concepts and one of them is going to be that we're going to change the content of what you eat we're going to knock out some really rich foods and the other thing that we're going to do is we're going to exercise portion control so we're going to have you eat less than you've been eating by amount as well as try to knock out some of the particularly rich foods now if you and when they do that she's had some success from this but the problem is is that if you're eating less than you want by using some kind of restriction on portion control know what's going to happen is you're going to be hungry and so what's going to happen is eventually your determine nation to continue to systematically be hungry is going to get go out the window and then we're going to return to eating the amount that we ate before and then the weight comes back okay so the most prescriptions for diets are a mind bender and that's why I call my way of going about doing this losing weight without losing your mind so it's a you can see this video that I shot chef AJ set up a talk for me to do down in a church in Los Angeles several years ago and so my hair was more brown and less gray yeah but it's a it's a nice it's a nice introduction to how it is that we go about doing this problem what we want to do is we want to move the diet more if the diet towards a whole plant food type diet with minimum amount of processed food and if a person includes animal food or not it's not really the big issue the big issue is the overall calorie density of the diet and whether that calorie density exceeds what is typical for the natural history of our species now so one so there's sort of two sets of cravings so there's more than one craving that we have to be concerned about one of them is the craving by amount and that can be that can be a problem when you're trying to diet in a way where you're trying to to eat less than you want consistently so that's a problem so we don't actually have to face that problem we simply have to eat the correct type of food of modest intermediate level caloric density consistent with a natural history of our species and then the person can eat as much as they want now which brings us to the second problem and the second problem is the cravings for specific types of flavors and so the flavors that people are interested in or flavors that are high have high concentrations of some combination of sugar fat salt so it's actually a simple matter for people to get very healthy and to get very fit all they have to do is eat out of the produce aisle okay if they eat out of the produce aisle and don't process their food in a blender and don't grab a bunch of peanuts and cashews and tournament and nut butter and they need it with a spoon if they eat whole plant food and my good friend dr. Alan Goldhamer has been recently correcting me and banging me over the head and saying quit calling it you know whole food plant-based he says there's nothing plant-based about it it's whole plant food okay meaning it's whole we eat the whole food we're not grinding it into a powder and then snorting it the way people will do so this is chef edge we use the food the whole food and nothing but the food so I hope to god yes which actually brings me to another point which is that one thing that this person can do is is join join chef AJ's group get support there this is a really comprehensive place for getting a great deal of support the other thing that we do is to and that we recommend is a period of fasting so at a place like fasting escape or TrueNorth this is a place where you can go through a period of time where you use where you have just water and what will happen after several days of this is that your taste buds will go through a process of readapting to their normal sensitivity to the normal caloric densities of natural foods for people you and every animal on earth is designed by nature to absolutely love whole natural food of the species the whatever your whatever your species is your saber-tooth cat you're designed to love you know I don't know gazelles and if you're a human being you're an omnivore but you are absolutely very keen on whole plant foods you if you're not keen on whole plant foods it's because your taste buds are have become used to or neuro adapted to the richer foods which is of course what is what are you Bick wa tiss in other words that's that's the food that everybody eats that's the food that everybody sells and so that's that that is the food environment that people find themselves in however to once again reiterate the solution to this problem is actually at hand people are extremely frustrated with this problem it is an enormous problem that sits right in the middle of people's happiness and not to mention their health and so the of course this is a big problem it's puzzling this is a person who has who has diligently worked at different programs those programs are almost never the right program you won't see or the any programs ever saying your job is to eat a diet consistent with the natural history of your species yeah they don't say that and the reason what they say is oh if you have a little of this then you could have a little of that and a little of that winds up being some kind of process rich food and then your taste buds do not become neuro adapted to whole plant food and then you are consistently craving the richer foods because you constantly tease the organism into understanding that those foods are available and the memory systems continue to recycle their their determination to orient you towards the richest food in the environment whereas if your aren't continually teasing the system then that's going to quiet that down a great deal it will quiet it to a very quiet level to what I call being in a deep groove so there are many people who have made this journey for example chef AJ is one of them where over a period of several months she went from a pretty healthy but not a whole plant diet but a plant-based diet where there was some some rich process plant food even though it's vegan and it was too rich too rich and inconsistent with the natural history of the organism and as a result she was carrying more weight than she wanted to when she switched to a whole plant food diet what happened is she went through the process of the body then reregulate its weight right down to essentially optimum so that's how it works and what happens then along this journey often a water fast is a terrific way to to reorient the tastebuds very quickly the what will happen is there is no sacrifice in terms of the enjoyment of the food the sacrifice becomes another issue it comes social in terms of the feedback for a family and others my attitude is hey just ward people off with the concept that yeah we're just going to run a crazy experiment we're trying something new oh well like we're not going to argue with them about the merits or whether it's right or wrong whether it's going to work we're not going to be a fortune-teller and say that this is going to be the great solution and the doctor Schmoe and other doctor smo they all say it's great so now i'm going to do this forget it don't defend it say yeah it probably won't work get them off your back right away yep it's probably going to be another loser oh well I'm just going to try it anyway and see what happens this completely puts people pushes them away from you in terms of their getting their corn pecker in your business okay and then you you know you do get some help get some support if you can if it's within your means go to a place like fasting escape give yourself a break give yourself a huge running start at this problem and join chef AJ's group if that's the best thing for you to do and in this way or don't or do neither and just grab the bull by the horns you know grab the bull by the horns and go and and do what needs to be done to dig yourself out of the hole it's a difficult thing to do it's surprisingly difficult but I can tell you that when people do this they will tell you that it's the best thing that they ever do for themselves fantastic and yeah I've had a couple of people come and stay here from a chef AJ's group and from the podcast so if people are interested in just looking what the fast escape program is about a little bit about water fasting they can visit WWF Asti escape comm doctor why you're going to be coming and speaking in you know September as well so yeah good don't have to get down there I do once a month trip now it's my new mecca trips in Los Angeles so I love your place great all right what else we got our next question and we've got a caller on hold as well so holla callers on hold so we're take a couple more questions then we'll get that we'll get the caller's there so callers uh yeah stay on hold we know you're here Oh Gare du Toit mm-hmm all right dear dr. Lisle I'm overweight and I struggle with eating healthy but I'm getting there slowly but my doctor's not supportive and about my diet change at all she's telling me that she has to put me on blood-pressure medications and oral diabetes medications for my pre-diabetes I know I have a ways to go with my weight loss and my eating habits but I just don't like taking medications how can I get my doctor on board well I wouldn't bother getting your doctor on board and I would I would obviously if they're not screaming at you your numbers are so not so intimidating is for us to be intimidated at all so obviously if a person has a massive you know disaster of a diabetes condition we have to look at it a little bit differently but this person clearly doesn't have such a condition and therefore we know it need to be the slightest bit intimidated by anything this doctor is saying the the solution to the problem is not management of diabetes says dr. Kim who is the director of dr. MacDougall's program says that's all he learned in med school management okay you manage the condition as people slowly slip away you don't need to manage this condition you need to fix it and the solution the person says they're having some success slow weight loss I don't know what they mean by slow people usually have a misunderstanding of how quickly the body is going to shed weight when you do the diet properly so most of the time a pound a week is very rapid and outstanding weight loss it's you're shedding about 4,000 calories a week or about 5 or 600 calories a day below equilibrium in terms of your your outgo is exceeding your input by a very wide margin so the body is essentially returning to normal very very quickly okay so a pound a week is 50 pounds a year folks unbelievable so anybody that's got diabetes and is 50 or 60 pounds overweight or pre-diabetic 50 60 70 pounds overweight understand that you will do an entire metamorphosis within within a year if you're losing a pound a week now if slower than that it's a little hard to even tell if it's happening and maybe one of the problems is is that we're not quite that diligent when it comes to the diet so once again it you know there's a reason why in the 35 years of True North what we say is okay we foul and put them on a really healthy diet same thing same story so the and sometimes people can use other things they might do a 2 or 3 day juice fast at home and then get real clean or come to Nate's place and then get yourself clean there's other you know there the story is always that we're moving towards a whole plant diet or something very similar I'm not doctrinaire about animal food versus non animal food you know many of the my friends and colleagues are that's not the biggest issue sometimes people put vegan at the top of the food chain here as if that's the panacea for everything it's not it's a question of how good a job your diet mimics the diet of our natural history so eating vegan pizza and corn chips and you know soy ice cream and beer this is not this is no great diet the great diet comes when you're eating a high percentage and maybe even exclusively your diet coming from whole plants and the so in any event same same kind of answer to to answer number one the solution is to get in what I call a deep groove and this person is clearly doing enough right things that the weight appears to be coming off if they bet it they also may not understand what fast and slow means so this is why I don't like people watching the scale too closely because they get discouraged when the weight goes up a day and then it goes down and goes up and down sideways and they just get demoralized and they don't stick with the dietary plan because there they are essentially getting false feedback from what's happening on the scale the scale meaningfully moves every month so that's why I have people 'we themselves three times in a row to be any of them on take the average that's your baseline a month from now we're going to see whether or not it's down if it's down three pounds a month from now pretty good it's down a pound a month from now not so good okay not if you're substantially overweight that means you're not doing enough and so if you need help with that get help but but that's the solution to this problem the solution is not medication management and we don't need to get your doctor on board because your doctor does not know what a healthy diet will do they just don't anthony limb just a brilliant guide that's the works with us both the true north in and at the mcdougal program he he just says you know what he just never saw it on all his years of practice this is a this is a very fancy mind and he just said you know i heard about it it was dad had told him about is his dad was very excited about this and had learned a great deal and anthony came and he said hey i want to work with you guys we're like of course for god sakes with his resume please okay and he came in and he says wow look at this no more management of the disease we reverse it we get rid of it and so that's and then we say goodbye the doctor for this question alright let's go on testing yeah i just had a lady come in thirty years of uncontrolled high blood pressure doctors putting on three meds and she's looking all kinds of ways to lower blood pressure still doesn't work and she fasted she was here for 10 days only fasted for five days ate for seven - in the beginning and then five afterwards or three afterwards yes left the place blood pressure completely normal no more meds yeah that is a fact that i thought it was going to take the average of dr. Lisle your study where we're right the blood pressure studying high blood pressure where the average was 10 point 6 days which I told her in the beginning and turns out it was you know it worked out much quicker than I expected yes spectacular yeah the the what the body can do when you give it a break is is something to see and it's almost unknown so I recommend for anybody that's considering this to go to on Netflix if they've got it and watch a documentary called the science of fasting and it will it will tell you the story of an essentially unknown technique that is sitting right under the noses and our noses in the modern world and and it's extraordinary safety record and and how valuable it can be for people all right fans all right so we've got a couple of callers on hold here so we're in tact the first one okay caller where you calling from welcome to the show this is the 949 area code oh hi my name's Allie I'm calling from Southern California yes well hello are we welcome Oh all right tell fire one what's happening and oh okay I know okay uh so anyways I'll give you a little bit of backstory um I have one friend and she over weights like definitely and then for myself you know I'm whole food plant-based as well as free pretty in shape whatever um so I'm going to talk a lot and I try and hold my tongue a bit when she kind of bashes at my diet you know complaining about how you know she could never eat that way because she's never be full with all that without that lack of protein and now you know she eat a whole thirty so that she can start losing weight and all that kind of stuff mmm but anyway the quest she starts venting to me and then straight up sort of asking if I think that she's fat and the reason that she's asking you this is because I guess at work she's been mistaken for one co-worker that she sees as big you know very large but she does not see herself as being that same way uh-huh and so she you know goes about looking for a picture of this one co-worker and you know to myself they look pretty much the same so you know I try and dance around the question like not calling her fat not saying that they look the food like oh it's you know a weird angle I can't really tell from this but I definitely see this conversation happening again and I'm kind of curious how you think I should approach it if I'm asking because you know I want to be a good friend and I don't want to lie to her but I also want to be a good friend and I don't want to hurt her feelings Wow kind of a new one for me you know if it's a if it's a woman asked and her husband the right answer is no exactly but you know I look well like I try and tell her you know like I you know I like you know what I think about her or anything like that but I'm just curious you know what dance around that question is probably what I would say I would probably say you looking at you look very nice to me okay say I think you look nice something like that and so we she's uh and if we I think that's pretty good and she just what do you think about that you said well you know we can we can all of us can be in better shape I can be in better shape you can be better shape all the skin so you know there's there's always work to be done but you know I think you look nice we say it like that and call it a day yeah it it strikes me that what's happening here is um that she's I mean if you if you were to give me a wild guess in other words is she obese is she moderately overweight what's her story like I'm really not good at telling but I want to say you know she's she's a tall girl like probably like a rat I'm around 5/8 probably around that same height but she probably has about 60 pounds on me okay oh yeah like death death out there she knows she knows she's very substantially overweight this is not some mystery okay the engine business is not a secret what she's mostly interested in is you know what's my sort of general attractiveness and presentation are you embarrassed of me do you think I look decent do you think I look pretty good that's really what she's asking you and so that's what we're going to feed back to her is saying we're going to say I think it'd look nice okay just nice and simple because we're saying you're your looks are acceptable to be my friend I'm not embarrassed of you it's all cool okay and that's probably the biggest question that she's actually asking you yeah because that question yeah that question is is is sort of subtle and complex socially and so the so which I'm trying to get into her head and find out what actually she has a number of things that she's anxious about but the one that she's asking you about isn't gee do you think the guys think I'm hot she knows what the guys think because they either hit on her they don't yeah okay so she already knows that story she knows that story way well so I think when she's asking you she's actually asking you am I am I an embarrassment to you and what do you think about me as a person and the answer is you look plenty good enough to be in my coalition you're my friend so we say I think you look nice that's how we do it okay okay so just did you suggest keeping it kind of vague yeah and if she does well what about like that you didn't say what a good shape I'm in he said well we could all be in better shape okay okay I can be in better shape you can be better shape a everybody could be in better shape so we've all got work to do that's how we say it okay okay yeah that make sense thank you very good all right Ally thanks for calling good question all right no thank you okay very much for the phone call of a great question all right our next caller 801 calling caller what's your name where you calling from hey I'm actually uh calling from Washington right now it's full of smoke so I'm inside okay it's a interesting weather my question is basically people you know often do verge from their parents as they get older they get different viewpoints and sometimes they diverge a lot in things that they hold valuable or what not be it politics or religion or whatever and my question is is our generation or my generation or whatever generation that's younger than us are they more used to kind of constant updates of information and changing their perspective and will that give us a better chance to not clash with the generation younger than us you know because I I like to picture my child you know not losing interest in our relationship or feeling incompatible with me the moment they can go off on their own you know I hope for an understanding easygoing fun relationship that we can enjoy and that's that guaranteed of course but you know depending on the kid's personality but I feel like we're just a little bit more open these days and we might be more compatible with changing viewpoints of our kids and I'm wondering if it's possible to you know when there's when there are those big elephants in the room can we kick right now even can we get used to that elephant and kind of start dismissing it and enjoy the things we have in common as as generational gaps you know hmm think about this I feel like there's a there's a few ideas floating around in your head and there's some supposition zin there first of all the the things that's going to determine parent-child dynamics as people age is going to be the personalities it's not going to be what generation we're in so we can we can have just a just as doctrinaire and difficult and and inflexible person in 2020 as we could have in 1950 the the primary dynamic is going to be the personalities of the individuals themselves so now we have a second question so the second question is is there a general culture overlay that is changing these dynamics over time that that's an interesting question and it's a and I believe that the answer is yes and I believe that you you have spotted a trend that is that is uh mm-hmm that is measurable and has been observed and that is that people are getting more civil and more open to alternative viewpoints that that is happening the that certainly it doesn't mean we're going to stop having you know vitriol and different sides political aisle and it doesn't mean that that it's all going to be pleasant discussion and agreeing to disagree but it does mean that a young kid who comes out as being gay at thirteen now isn't facing what he was facing 25 years ago same same general family same set of family dynamics and personalities that that father and mother are are statistically likely to be considerably more open to this and more understanding just because the world has now instructed people and they've learned more about these these things and so it's going to be easier okay and that will continue to be the case with a wide variety of issues that could that could have brought conflict into families before interracial dating or a religious changes or a break break away from the family mold all of these things are everything is becoming looser with every year that passes and that's a that's a good thing the some people will lament that but the truth is is that that's true the so but but as but as I say so we really have two different issues and the lion's share of the variance as to what happens in any given family is going to not be what's happening in the culture it's going to be the dynamics of the individual personalities in that family okay there are there are families in the most in the most draconian social environments that because of the openness and emotional stability and conscientiousness of the parents they were able to tolerate you know radical change on the part of their offspring and radical openness on the offspring because you know they were able to do so they had the natural flexibility in the same way in in the you know in the most sort of permissive atmosphere there will be people that for whom that any kind of changes of this nature will be ad horn okay and it's just not something that they handle well at all I like I I think about about my own father who I don't know how well he would have handled it had I had been gay it would not have been easy for him and it wouldn't have been easy for him today just kind of who who he is and it certainly would have been very difficult for him in the 1970s when I was a teenager so so I'm glad I didn't have to face that that issue and I'm glad that he didn't have to face it just because it would have been very hard on him and it would have been hard on us both so the whereas me I'm a different person also living in a different generation but I'm also different human than my dad and if I had a son or daughter and they had their sexuality worked out direction you know I know even without any training as psychologists etc but I just naturally have a more less a fair attitude towards all these kinds of things than my dad did my mom actually was much more like me genetically just much more lazy fare so these are two great question two different sources of variation and and I think that you are I think that you will are seeing a humanity in the Western free world drift more and more towards you know there's probably some to limits is just how easy people can easygoing people can be about some of these things but we are certainly we have not found that limit yet and the world is moving in an increasingly civilized direction all right good question study followed briefly would you say that and you know per individual to these elephants in the room you get easier over time your people tend to realize that they value the relationship more than a particular thing that they have to take a hard stance on you know I I don't actually know I think I'm not sure what you're asking that it is different than what I just said so that you're you're trying to take it down to a micro level and I'm saying that that that has to be happening because we absorb this process on the macro level sure kinda thank you that that the culture humanity is is is actually at a remarkably fast pace it's growing up and getting better and this is this has been noted by Steven Pinker and he has some some fine documentation of this he is astounded actually at how quickly this is happening in other words it's we are quite a different society you know 150 years later than we were you know in in the eighteen in 1868 for goodness sakes and so and we're quite a different society than we were in you know a hundred years ago in 1918 so we have we have made astonishing progress on these issues and I still see all kinds of pockets of resistance that are that are there and of course they're going to be there how long they're going to be there I don't know but we see the general trend is exactly as you're hypothesizing that humanity under free societies is is moving in a very very promising and and very positive direction so thank you thanks for gold you bat her pink thank you for the great question and just because we're today in the habit of promoting the fast escape just to oh yeah go right ahead but we just go ahead were it again yeah just to hammer home thirty years ago when dr. Alan Goldhamer my mentor started fasting the fasting clinic that the Center for conservative therapy which later became true north health center he got into some legal trouble because the Medical Board thought that recommending fasting was so such gross negligence that it rose to the level of criminal negligence yeah thirty years later you know he's getting published in the British Medical Journal and yeah 20 years at twenty years later he's you guys were getting published in these articles with blood pressure with lymphoma and the recent one about fasting safety so times are changing times are changing we have people from the Mayo Clinic wanted to do research with us USC a Washington University in st. Louis from all of the country and all of the world we have people expressing very strong interests of support and so this is you're right this is a an example of good ideas drive out bad ideas just like good money drives bad money out of an economy and so it doesn't happen evenly and it doesn't happen you know consistently and sometimes there are switchbacks and the pendulum can swing back the other direction but but the the march of free humans is towards better and better ideas and better better relationships and and we can see that literally in real time in our in our own lifetimes fantastic our lives first in school I was talking about you know interning at true north and does I was I was interning here and they're kind of under the radar because they didn't really supported that well until a couple years later yeah and it was just it was just fast anyhow how low open everybody was but now with the fasting escape we even had a couple of doctors from Loma Linda come there they're thinking they're thinking that this may be something really really worth looking at fasting all because of you know thirty years ago you and dr. Goldhamer had these wild ideas yeah great oh you know what I had somebody write me a question and I was I was embarrassed that my thinking I had not been clear and so I thought oh boy if if she'd misunderstood what I was saying then so could have everybody else she wrote me a question and said when I say that that men will make up their mind on females aesthetically in you know very brief order is that sort of fixed or what if women got in better condition lost weight etc there were changes in either for the male or the female would that make a difference and the answer is absolutely so when I say that it will that a person doesn't put a rating in their head of what someone's mate value is and then have it remained fixed forever the the parameters of mate value if a person changes those parameters then it changes okay so don't think that don't think that the the young ladies in Liverpool weren't aware of what was happening with the Beatles for god sakes okay you know a few weeks before they were just kind of a cool rock band that somebody didn't know much about but then they have big hit and there everything turns fancy and then what then what do we got swooning in the Isles same guys okay same music so the so you know success will change mate value of males success will not change mate values of females because males aren't looking to get provisioned so that their pregnancy you know will can be protected for God's sakes but on the other hand females appearance as their appearance changes absolutely the male psychology can change so yeah I the I I had thought that that would go without saying but her question is very well and intelligently asked and and so sincerely it's like oh my goodness I'm so sorry if anybody didn't didn't didn't understand that implication I had a woman came to me about 20-some years ago she was a a very fancy psychologist coach and everything else in the Sun would and she came to our Center and and her husband had not shown in the interest for many years and and she couldn't understand this and I explained to her that excess weight mimicked pregnancy and males don't don't mean to be dogs they're just designed by nature to try to reproduce their DNA and if it looks like their DNA has already been reproduced and what's the why bother if it looks like the female cannot be impregnated then they're not going to be nearly as interested now of course some men will be but most men won't be men are extremely they're like Eagles looking for the female's waistline and and the reason why they're built that way is they're built to along the lines of energy conservation don't be wasting energy on a place that there's no possibility for a pregnancy to take place when there's another place where there could be so at the at the root cause of behavior decision making you're going to see the principle of energy conservation is going to weave its way through everything it's going to weave its way through people wanting to eat rich food instead of food of less caloric density it's going to weave its way through people not can't can't bother to exercise and it's going to weave its way through the fascination with gambling to try to get a whole bunch of money for almost no effort and it's going to weave its way through job preferences where you get you know more pay for the same work etc and it's going to weave its way into males not being interested sexually in females that are overweight because it would be a bunch of effort wasted okay so any rate she did a water fast eight healthy lost about 25 pounds her husband who was out of town came to visit and she actually didn't believe me or considered it to be a bizarre idea I maybe I look to young men and had a mustache look like a little doofus I mean I don't know but she she learned overweight enough yeah yes she did think much too much of my hypothesis and and then when her husband came he saw her and immediately got frisky and to her credit she reported it to me it's just like all be darned he went right down to my backside in my waistline and he was doing just what you say which is that males would like to take their hands along the curve of the waistline to to the hips in order to that's a tactile mechanism for checking the vision it's a these are this are independent neural circuits both of which are they you know both of which are data through different sensory means that will help detect pregnancy and confirm whether it's there or not so that's exactly what he did and he was sexually interested in her and she was like all be darned what do you know about that yeah what do you know indeed so that's uh we that that's why this is such a big deal to know about these things
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